Would you like some eggs?

On this Thursday, I offer you some breakfast in the form of a story about a breakfast which may or may not have been poisoned. Enjoy!

Would you like some eggs?

Would you like some eggs?

They may taste like rubbish, but it’s not like I poisoned them.

I’m not very good at cooking eggs but I made some extra just for you.

You may find some egg shells amongst the rubbery yellow-white.  Pay them no mind.  They’re not poison.  I’m just not very good at cracking eggs. I mess it up every time.

Please, sit down and have some eggs with me.  I made them special just for you.

Don’t mind the smell. My eggs never smell good, but it’s not like I poisoned them. They always smell that way.

Dig in, there are plenty more where those came from.  Enjoy your eggs as best you can. Eat your eggs and smile knowing that they haven’t been poisoned.

Must you always question my motives?  I don’t want anything.  I made you some eggs to be nice.  Please, eat your eggs.  It would hurt my feelings if you didn’t.  I slaved away in the kitchen to make them special just for you.

Would you like some eggs?

They may taste like rubbish, but it’s not like I poisoned them.

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4 responses to “Would you like some eggs?

  • TheOthers1

    No, no, they are poisoned. I’m convinced of it. The person speaking cracked me up. Nice piece.

    • Adam Ickes

      This story was inspired by the fact that I can’t cook eggs. I’ve tried many times and I always think I’ll do better, but they always end up tasting terrible. Though, I’ve never added poison. Maybe they’d taste better if I did lol

      • TheOthers1

        Lol! I think I’ve almost mastered that cooking task. Made an omelet a while back and it turned out pretty well. No shells. You can do it, no poison needed

      • Adam Ickes

        I’m a decent cook when it comes to most things, but I never could wrap my head around the art of cooking eggs. I’m convinced you have a window of about 3 nanoseconds to pull the egg off the heat. Anything longer and you may as well eat burnt shoe leather and anything less and you may as well crack the egg directly into your mouth.

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