This 100 word story was inspired by the Friday Fictioneers photo prompt by Madison Woods:
This story is a follow up to Sins of a Father. You should probably read that one first, if you haven’t already. Go ahead, I’ll wait…
When Hope Dies
Beyond the barbed wire fence, he paced countless miles to pass the endless hours of night. When dawn finally glinted on the horizon, he bolted into the tree line.
Not long now.
Sitting amongst the fern, back propped against a fallen oak, he watched the ground with fading hope as sunrise came and went. Tears streamed down his cheeks, carving canyons through the caked on grime.
The unwelcome task of digging the girl back up began five minutes later.
He returned to his truck, daughter cradled in his arms, anger nestled in his heart, vengeance clawing at his fractured mind
April 27th, 2012 at 7:48 AM
Interesting. Is this story to be continued in further Friday Fictioneers tales?
Mine’s this-a-way:
https://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-hunterhunted/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Thanks! I’ve decided recently to add it to my list of stories to turn into full length novels (it’s becoming a long list, not sure where I’ll find all this time), though there will likely be more shorts for Friday Fictioneers when the right prompts arise.
April 27th, 2012 at 7:52 AM
Yes I remember the earlier one, but I went back to read it again. It follows on beautifully, and it’s really quite … unnervingly sad. This theme certainly has legs, as they say.
Mine’s at https://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/trespass/
but then you probably know that. 🙂
April 27th, 2012 at 10:46 AM
It will get sadder as it goes on, I expect. Only time will tell where I’ll take it when I eventually turn it into a novel.
April 27th, 2012 at 8:01 AM
Great story Adam - especially this line “carving canyons through the caked on grime.” that line is an opera star.
The doubling up of the “less” sounds in that second sentence though, stalled on me.
Hmm, I went back and read it again, and liked it more the second time. So, nevermind. Nicely done.
April 27th, 2012 at 10:47 AM
Thanks, Craig! Glad you enjoyed it!
April 27th, 2012 at 8:09 AM
OMG! So beautifully sad.
‘He returned to his truck, daughter cradled in his arms, anger nestled in his heart, vengeance clawing at his fractured mind’ The string of words just had me hooked!
Here is mine: https://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/fridayfictioneers-sobibor/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:49 AM
You’ll get more of the story in time, but not until the right prompt comes up or I turn it into a novel (which won’t be for awhile, probably sometime next year), whichever comes first. Glad you liked it!
April 27th, 2012 at 8:22 AM
How beautifully dark. I like how you leave it open as to the ending: did she resurrect or did the bag fail? Is the father angry because it worked with unexpected results? Did it not work? Or does he want vengeance upon those who murdered her in the first place. So many good places to go. Great job!
https://jonathanmwright.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/only-100/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:50 AM
Thanks, Jonathan. I plan on continuing the story further as the right prompts occur, so it won’t be every week. Only time will tell where I go with this one. I’m not yet sure how it ends, but I love the fact that I’ll be the first to find out.
April 27th, 2012 at 8:48 AM
So dark. So many questions. Hope you continue with it next week. Left us wanting more. Nice work. Here’s mine:
https://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com
April 27th, 2012 at 10:51 AM
It will continue, but probably not next week. I’ll only continue when the right prompt presents itself. Glad you enjoyed it.
April 27th, 2012 at 8:58 AM
I’m glad you continued it. I feel bad for him, but, golly, I wanna know what happened to her. There’s some guilt on his part I’m sure of it! Great story.
Here’s my link in case anyone else wants to read it: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/sharp/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
You’ll just have to wait until I pen the novel to find out the back story. I started in the middle with the Sins of a Father story. I’m planning to start the novel later this year, so it won’t be out until sometime next year at the earliest. You’ve got quite a wait ahead to build the suspense. There will likely be a few more shorts along the way though as long as Madison throws out the right prompts.
April 27th, 2012 at 10:01 AM
Pretty creepy! I liked it though, I didn’t see it coming. Thank you for commenting on mine also!
https://itsgonnagetweird.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fictioneers/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Thanks, Ritchie. Glad you liked it!
April 27th, 2012 at 10:19 AM
Did he try the wrong location? Perhaps the Pet Sematary up in Ludlow would have worked for him.
Nicely done.
Here’s mine: https://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:55 AM
Hmmm, interesting theory you’ve got there. Perhaps a trip to Ludlow is in order.
April 27th, 2012 at 10:29 AM
Very interesting - leaves me with a lot of questions. I missed the earlier piece, so will have to back track to see if it helps me find answers. You create a strong visual with your descriptions - I can sense his feeling of impotence and rage.
Thanks for stopping by mine.
Erin
https://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/04/26/flash-friday-fiction-9/
April 27th, 2012 at 10:57 AM
Hopefully the earlier piece will clear up a bit for you, though it may create just as many questions as it answers. Thanks for reading and commenting.
April 27th, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Very interesting. Leaves lots of unanswered questions. Hope you do get around to doing more with it.
Here’s mine
https://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/flash-fiction-story-3-for-fridayfictioneers-flashfiction/
April 28th, 2012 at 10:32 AM
I’ll eventually get around to adding more to the story. The question is when lol
April 27th, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Powerful stuff, Adam. I’m glad I checked back to the old piece, it made a world of sense after that! your descriptions are powerful and feeling of despair and vengence at the end is palpable.
I’m over here: https://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/friday-fiction-soul-memories/
April 28th, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Thanks, Elmo! I’m glad you liked it.
April 27th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Being a paranormal author, I assumed he was waiting for her to rise like a vampire and his shattering disappointment when she did not was accurately rendered. Even if I was off in that aspect, I truly enjoyed the emotion in this piece. Nicely done, Adam.
Here’s mine:
https://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-200-words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
April 28th, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Thank you. There will be more to come to continue the story in time.
April 27th, 2012 at 4:20 PM
I read this installment first and then went back and read your first story. Even though it is a continuation I think there was enough here as a stand along piece. I definately understood that he was waiting for something to rise from the earth. The fact that it was his daugther — chills!
Here’s mine: https://postcardfiction.com/2012/04/27/scraped/
April 28th, 2012 at 10:37 AM
That’s what I was trying for. I wanted to make it able to stand on its own, but I always wanted to maybe answer some questions by pointing out it continued a previous story. Thanks for reading!
April 27th, 2012 at 9:23 PM
That trick didn’t work for me, neither. I think we should both drive over there and get our money back!
Well-written and a great tale. I liked that you continued your story from a previous Friday Fictioneers prompt, and yet this could stand decently on its own.
Here’s mine: https://the-drabbler.com/trespass/
April 28th, 2012 at 10:38 AM
I agree! A refund is definitely in order, though I don’t think a refund is the only thing on this guy’s mind at this moment.
April 27th, 2012 at 11:32 PM
This is a very disturbing story, lol, and I’ll probably keep reading and getting newly disturbed every week if you keep it up! Is there more to come?
April 28th, 2012 at 10:40 AM
There will be more of this story for the Friday Fictioneers to read, but not until the right prompt appears. I’m planning on turning this into a novel in time as well.
April 28th, 2012 at 11:05 AM
LOL, I’m sure it will be a chilling read through and through!
April 28th, 2012 at 6:56 AM
I have a feeling that there’s a part three sometime in the future as his vengeance turns toward whoever it was who sold him the hex bag. I’m curious though to learn how his daughter died.
April 28th, 2012 at 10:42 AM
There is definitely a part three in the future, and more after that probably. I have plans to put this guy and his problems in a novel. I just have to squeeze that into my already tight schedule. The novel will give the back story, the Friday Fictioneers stories will likely only carry the story forward without looking back to what led to it all.
April 28th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
This is the second brillant story I’ve read from you in one week! I’d say you’re on quite the roll, dude!
April 28th, 2012 at 7:02 PM
Thanks, John! It means a lot to me that people seem to enjoy reading my work as much as I enjoy writing it.
May 1st, 2012 at 1:27 PM
Wasn’t sure what to expect when I started reading this one… not that! I’ll take a second helping, please.
May 2nd, 2012 at 12:07 PM
i loved the tension, but something confused me. digging her back up? so did he bury her? bolting for the trees at sunrise - is he a vampire?
May 2nd, 2012 at 1:36 PM
There is a link just below the image to the first part of the story. It might answer some of your questions. It might also create new questions. Guess I coped out a little and didn’t make this as much of a stand alone piece as I should have. Thanks for reading!
May 3rd, 2012 at 10:38 PM
Great work. Don’t know if I can add much since I’m late to the game, but your description is strong and I like your word choice, especially in the paragraph the starts, “Sitting amongst the fern…”