This 100 word story was inspired by Madison’s weekly Friday Fictioneers propmt photo:
The Secret Lives of Children
“Where’s your brother?”
Jimmy pointed at the Van Winkle Tunnel. “I told him not to go in!”
Melissa shook her head and trudged toward the tunnel. The draft emanating from within chilled her to the bone. She shook off the cold and stepped inside.
A dark shape was crouched at the center of the tunnel. Beside it, another huddled mass lay motionless. The crouched shape looked up at the woman and grinned; the homeless man’s blood trickled down the boy’s chin. He waved happily at his mother.
“Jonathan! You naughty boy! You know we don’t have dessert until after dinner!”
April 13th, 2012 at 6:38 AM
Hi, Really liked this one, especially the twist at the end. Wasn’t expecting that 🙂
Mine is here
https://tollykitsjourney.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-story-1-for-fridayfictioneers/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Glad you enjoyed it!
April 13th, 2012 at 6:46 AM
I love stories that are based around something mythical/un-worldly that are grounded in reality. Really blurs the lines. Very well written, creepy too.
https://freejournowriter.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-going-under/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed reading!
April 13th, 2012 at 7:05 AM
Urgh! Gruesomely realistic. Nice twist with the switch of the anticipated victim. Good work.
https://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/a-place-to-die-for-friday-fictioneers-13-april-2012/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
One of these days I’m going throw in the biggest twist of all and write a story that isn’t horror. I’ve tried many times but the characters keep pulling me back to the dark side.
April 13th, 2012 at 7:08 AM
Scary, but made me smile as well.
If that was dessert, makes you wonder what’s for dinner!
April 13th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Thanks! That’s what I was going for. Combining humor and horror is a pretty difficult task.
I’m not sure what dinner was, but it’s probably better that way!
April 13th, 2012 at 7:09 AM
HAHA! I love it. The boy gets to be the monster this time. Great job.
https://quillshiv.com/2012/04/12/flash-fiction-faction-from-agatha/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
April 13th, 2012 at 7:44 AM
Oh, wow! What a twist. I did not expect that, but was relieved for the little boy. 🙂 I liked the way you made the reader “feel” the cold coming from the tunnel. I hadn’t thought of that sensory description, but excellent!
-Jan
https://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/1571/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:38 PM
Glad you liked it! A story is always more fun with an unexpected twist. I wasn’t sure how this one would be taken, but it seems to have gone over pretty well.
April 13th, 2012 at 9:02 AM
that was a neat twist - nothing I was expecting. But I wonder what kind of strange creature considers a bum desert? Hahhaha. Nicely done.
April 13th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
That’s a very good question, but the better question is: if the bum was dessert, what was dinner?
April 13th, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Hopefully the secret lives of these children remain hidden! The listtle twist at the end made a good story not only better, but fun.
Here’s mine:
https://michaelsfishbowl.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/my-final-rest/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:41 PM
Glad you liked it!
April 13th, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Dark humor is so wonderful! I loved it, very nicely done.
Here’s mine:https://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/13/friday-fictioneers-3/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
I love the challenge of combining humor and horror. I don’t try it all that much, but it’s always a fun undertaking. Glad you liked it!
April 13th, 2012 at 11:52 AM
Somehow I knew today would bring out the dark, wicked and scary! Great story. I didn’t suspect a thing and you totally caught me off-guard. Again.
April 13th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Yeah, I knew this prompt would bring out my kindred spirits. Something about a dark tunnel just screams horror. Can’t wait for next week!
April 13th, 2012 at 12:09 PM
You handled this perfectly and the way in which you toy with expectations and preconceptions is very clever. Your story has great dark atmosphere and just the right touch of dark humour. Excellent work 🙂
Here’s my story this week:
https://andyfloodwritersblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/meet-me-there/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:30 PM
Reminded me of Let Me In/Let the Right One In, with the child being the monster - only he wasn’t alone, it seems. Great stuff, very funny!
Mine is this-a-way:
https://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/134/
April 13th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
Glad I could get the desired response from so many today. I wasn’t sure about the ending when I posted this one. Sometimes we’re the biggest critics of our own work.
April 13th, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Bwahahahaha! It reminded me of Morticia Adams admonishing Wednesday for not using the proper words “Now!” when asking for something at the table. 😀 Nicely done, Adam.
Here’s mine:
https://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/04/running-100words-for-fridayfictioneers.html
Siobhan
April 13th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Glad I could make you laugh. I never thought of that comparison, but you’re 100% right!
April 13th, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Well done. I could feel the cold coming from the tunnel. They’re always drafty, aren’t they? Loved the twist and glad the boy’s okay even if he is eerie.
My story, “Shell Shocked” is here: https://www.banterwithbeth.blogspot.com/
April 13th, 2012 at 3:18 PM
nice twist. totally unexpected.
https://brainsnorts.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/flash-fiction-friday-from-madison-woods/
April 14th, 2012 at 6:39 AM
Cool. What is he, a vampire? Or some other kind of monster?
https://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/friday-fictioneers-halfway-bridge/
April 17th, 2012 at 4:32 PM
I’m not really sure what he is. I didn’t really think that far ahead to be honest. I just know whatever he is, it isn’t good.
April 14th, 2012 at 12:21 PM
Good job! Like the unexpected twist! I didn’t see that coming at all.
Here’s mine https://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/something-watches/
April 17th, 2012 at 4:35 PM
I’ve been hearing that a lot about this one. I wasn’t even sure I was going to post it originally. Thanks for reading.
On my way to check yours out now!
April 16th, 2012 at 5:55 PM
The advantage of homeless people as prey is they are often too inebriated to put up a fight, even against a child. The disadvantage is the alcohol/other substances in their bloodstream can impede your getaway.
I imagine.
Creepy, disturbing but fun entry. Just the way I like it! Mine is here:
https://jaykayel.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/patience-100ish-word-flash-fiction/
April 17th, 2012 at 4:36 PM
You speak as if you have experience devouring the homeless. You sound like my kind of people! Glad you enjoyed it!
April 16th, 2012 at 11:17 PM
Nice! You had me fearing the worst for a little while there. Luckily, it was just a kid being rebellious about dinner time-no big deal : )
Thanks for sharing. Here’s my take:
https://the-drabbler.com/the-tunnel-of-misfortune/
April 17th, 2012 at 4:38 PM
Rebellion about dinner is one of those gateway activities that apparently leads to murder. No big deal indeed! Thanks for reading!
April 17th, 2012 at 6:34 AM
Loved the twist ending. Didn’t expect something so non-threatening.
Mine at https://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/04/nightmare.html
April 17th, 2012 at 10:18 AM
This just might be the best one I’ve read!
https://tedstrutz.com/2012/04/14/100-words-flash-friday-fictioneers-the-underpass/
April 17th, 2012 at 4:40 PM
I am humbled by your kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed my story.