Story inspired by Madison’s prompt photo:
He stood at the edge of the river, eyes studying the calm water.
“I should have done more.”
There’s nothing more you could have done, he thought.
Three days had passed since Emily disappeared beneath the surface. She’d just gone down and never came back up. He wondered if she’d finally slipped away and disappeared like she’d threatened to do so many times, but he knew better. He knew the misshapen creature of Iroquois legend had grabbed her ankle and pulled her to an icy grave at the bottom. The only thing keeping hope alive was the lack of a body.
April 6th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
OK, this one scared me less than last week’s, so that’s good. I like the wistfulness and longing that the character expresses through your very few words of description. Nicely done.
April 7th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
I’ll have to try harder to scare you next week. 🙂
April 6th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
I love the tone of this piece and the invocation of native legend. Rereading, “eyes studying the calm water.” is far more chilling the second time around.
https://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/04/down-by-the-river-friday-fictioneers1.html
April 6th, 2012 at 3:43 PM
I love a bit of the eerie stuff, so this worked wonders for me. The idea of this “misshapen creature of Iriquois legend” is very interesting and brings all sorts of imaginings to my mind - none of them pretty!
Mine’s this-a-way:
https://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/fridayfictioneers-catfishing/
April 6th, 2012 at 4:31 PM
I’d like to know more about that Iroquois creature, but I’ll not be getting too close to the edge of any water from now on.
Here’s mine: https://mymusings-maggie.blogspot.com/2012/04/another-friday-fictioneers.html
April 6th, 2012 at 11:03 PM
I’d like to know more about that Iroquois creature, too-I love Native American myths and legends. Nicely done-delightfully spooky!
Mine: https://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
April 7th, 2012 at 2:53 AM
You know it’s hopeless when the only consolation you can glean is from the absence of a body. You captured the desperation of the narrator perfectly. Well done.
https://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/reaching-a-conclusion-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/
April 7th, 2012 at 8:28 AM
I work a lot with Iroquois legends, and you have me stumped with this one-which creature was it that took Emily?
Fantastic story!
https://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/meet-me/
April 7th, 2012 at 8:41 AM
The creature in the story is actually a very common lake monster, except in a river (I imagine upstream from the lake). The Abenaki called it “Tatoskok”. I’m not sure what the Iroquis called it, I was never able to find a name, just that they had stories of it. Today we call it “Champ”.
April 7th, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Thank you so much!
April 7th, 2012 at 8:46 PM
This would make an excellent opening paragraph of a book! Very nice!!
April 7th, 2012 at 9:21 PM
Thanks! I actually had a very similar thought. Then I immediately put it on the back burner. I need to focus on one or two projects at a time to feel like I’m being productive and I’ve already got something in the works. Maybe when I finish my current project I’ll revisit this one, but that won’t be for awhile and I’ll have thought up at least a dozen new ideas by then. I think I need bionic arms that can type as fast as my mind races. I’d get so much more done!
April 7th, 2012 at 9:41 PM
I know what you mean. I started so late and feel so behind. I have a first book that I am rewriting and 5 more I want to write. It is better to have our problem than have writer’s block! 🙂
April 7th, 2012 at 9:55 PM
Very true! The problem I have is finding the time to write everything down amongst the other responsibilities of life. In addition to my current WIP, I’ve got ideas for 8 more novels and 5 short story collections floating around in my mind, and those are just the ones I deemed well formed enough to be added to the list. There are tons of other ideas bouncing around in there, they just haven’t fully worked themselves out enough to make it on the list yet.
April 7th, 2012 at 11:00 PM
Good luck to you! One step at a time…
April 12th, 2012 at 5:51 PM
I like that concept of the Iroquois boogey man. Interesting story, Adam.