This post was inspired by the prompt from Quill Shiv:
This is my first attempt at producing Haiku in years. Forgive me if they are awful.
…
Off the Platform
As always, on time
Bullet train, just passing through
One step will stop time
…
The End of Time
Grinding to a halt
The gears that spin the world
Thus is how it ends
April 4th, 2012 at 9:48 AM
I really like your haiku! They’re cool. Especially the image of the bullet train… I sometimes think things are rushing too fast, just like it!
April 4th, 2012 at 10:40 PM
Thanks! It seems like the older I get, the faster time passes. Doesn’t seem fair really.
April 4th, 2012 at 12:12 PM
The bullet train one is brilliant. The last line is particularly sad.
I enjoyed the second haiku. The idea of time and the world stopping like the gears of a clock or a machine is wonderful. However, the second line is 6 syllables. If you can find a way to extend it one more syllable, feel free to repost and I’ll take another look at it.
April 4th, 2012 at 10:43 PM
Glad you enjoyed them. I noticed the 6 syllables too and meant to fix it but never got around to it. It may not be a haiku, technically speaking, but I still like it. I’m trying to thinking of a 7 syllable approach to convey the same message, but nothing I’ve come up with so far feels quite as right as the 6 syllable version.
April 4th, 2012 at 7:46 PM
Great haiku’s. I love the line ‘one step will stop time’ quite poignant.
April 4th, 2012 at 10:44 PM
Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed them.
July 30th, 2013 at 10:05 AM
A wonderful come-back