Monthly Archives: February 2014

Destinatio​n Weirdsvill​e: A Lesson in Head Shrinking

photo credit: eschipul via photopin cc

Today, I’m going to teach you how to do some head shrinking. Not that psychiatry mumbo jumbo… actual head shrinking. The kind the Shuar used to do in Ecuador: a fascinating people by the way.

Step one: Cut the victim’s head off. It would be extremely difficult to shrink a head still attached to a body.

Step Two: Slice the skin from the base of the neck to the crown. Remove the skull. Use it as a serving dish for Halloween candy if you like, just be sure to clean it first.

Step Three: With that pesky skull out of the way, it’s time to dip the skin in vegetable extract to dye it a sickening blue-black color and preserve it for future generations to enjoy.

Step Four: After you wear it as a mask to scare your loved ones, stitch up the cut you made to remove the skull. Also sew the lips shut, but don’t do it all willy nilly. The pattern seems to have some significance, though I have no idea what that might be.

Step Five: Call in sick for a few days. This next part will take some time. Fill the cavity with hot sand or pebbles. Constantly turn and reposition the head to ensure that it dries uniformly. When the hot sand cools, replace it with more of the good and hot stuff.

Step Six: Celebrate your new fist sized head with a ceremonial victory dance. Try not to spike the head at the end. No need to damage all that hard work.

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a shrunken head, but you’re probably going to jail for murder… or possibly doing freaky things to a corpse that died of natural causes. Either way, say goodbye to your shrunken head. You’ll probably never see it again.


Random fact…


Weekly Photo Challenge: Threes

These three photos showcase our trip to pick pumpkins for Halloween in 2012.

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This post is for the Weekly Photo Challenge.


Friday Fictioneers: Haunted Hayride

Before I begin. I have a Facebook page that I’d like to promote. I know some of you do as well. That being the case I thought this would be a good opportunity to create a linkup of our pages to have all of our Fictioneer author/book/writerly pages in one place to make it a bit easier for everyone to support one another.

Click here to go to the linkup to add your page or view the others.

Just a note. Only “like” a handful of pages at a time or Facebook will block you from liking for awhile.

Thanks, on behalf of everyone you “like.”

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Every year the people, some from as far as Canada, arrive in throngs to experience our haunted attractions - the best in the lower 48. By far, the biggest draw has been the haunted hayride since we added it three years back.

We really outdid ourselves this year though. Few people know this, but the skeletons hanging from the trees at the entrance are actual human bones, strung ’em together with baling wire myself. I have the high turnover rate here at the farm to thank. With our employees constantly changing no one ever questioned a few missing migrant workers.

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This post was written for Friday Fictioneers.


Storybook Corner - February

He should have been here by now. Why isn’t he here?

Jon looked up at the clock, surrounded by benches full of smiling sun-washed people. He looked down at the watch on his wrist to verify the time. He’d already compared the two six times, each time with the same results. The clock was accurate.

I found something. Something big. Darren’s words played back through his head countless times.

“What did you find?” Jon whispered. He looked up at the clock again then checked his watch one more time. It wasn’t like Darren to be late.

Where are you?

He sat there in the perpetual cycle of checking both the clock and his watch for another half hour before his phone buzzed with a text message from Darren.

5th and McVinton. Come quick.

Jon darted out of the park and sprinted nearly the entire five blocks to the corner of 5th Avenue and McVinton Street.

His eyes studied the throng of people, searching for Darren. Something felt wrong. Darren should have been there. He usually stuck out like a sore thumb.

Jon turned and started walking away. Two blocks later he noticed a pair of men in black suits following him. He rounded a corner and bumped into a third. A hand snaked around each of his arms.

“We’re going to need you to come with us, Mr. Rosen.” They tugged him back toward 5th and McVinton, rougher than was necessary.

“What’s all of this about? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

The three men didn’t say another word, simply guided him through a nondescript green door and down a flight of stairs to a dark, damp corridor with a single flickering bulb in the center and a red door with peeling paint at the far end. They walked him down the hall, opened the door, and shoved him inside.

“You’ll have to pardon my associates. They can be a bit rough around the edges, but they do have a certain knack for getting things done,” a woman wearing a leather apron said from beside what looked like a dentist’s chair. “Do sit down. We’ve much to discuss., Mr. Rosen”

Jon shook his head.

“Please… sit down. You really don’t want me calling them in here, do you?”

Jon shuffled his feet across the room. The woman strapped his arms down before he could protest.

“Now. Let’s get down to business shall we?”

“What’s this about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Jonathan. Your friend told me you have it.”

“Have what?” Jon struggled against the restraints.

“I want it back.” The woman pulled a scalpel from the pocket of the leather apron.

“If I knew what the hell you were talking about you’d have it already!”

“Why doesn’t anyone ever choose the easy way?” She shrugged and stepped toward him. “You will talk before I’m done with you, Jonathan.”

“I can’t tell you what I don’t know!”

She shrugged. “Then you’ll die, and it won’t be quick.”

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This post was written for my monthly Storybook Corner prompt. Join the fun by visiting the prompt post then adding your link to the linkup below.


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