This is my first foray into writing in about seven months or so. Please be gentle.
The image reminded me of the movie “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” for whatever reason. You know the one. The kooky inventor creates a machine that can make things shrink and grow and it ends up accidently shrinking his kids and their friends and they have to make their way through the back yard trying to get back to the machine. Anyway, here’s a slightly darker take on that theme.
Copyright Jennifer Pendergast
No Country for Small Men
They pushed him forward with the force of ten men. He stumbled and dropped to his knees before the bulbous mass of their queen. In her glossy, black eyes he saw only his own reflection.
“I apologize for the intrusion, but…”
A slight buzz escaped the enormous being before him. A sharp point pressed into the back of his right shoulder, threatening to pierce the skin if he didn’t silence himself. The rest of his plea stopped just behind his lips, wanting so badly to come out, but knowing what it would mean to do so. Knowing death would follow.
(word count: 100 words)
July 31st, 2013 at 8:08 AM
Very dark! Hope he manages to wriggle out of the situation somehow!
July 31st, 2013 at 9:44 AM
I hope so too, but his future looks doubtful.
July 31st, 2013 at 8:18 AM
Great title for a sharp piece. Well done.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Thanks, Sandra.
July 31st, 2013 at 8:34 AM
Loved your title and enjoyed the read.
Well done
Dee
July 31st, 2013 at 9:45 AM
Thanks, Dee. The title was the hardest part for me. I finished the story then had no idea what to call it for a bit.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:00 AM
This brought back all of the old Flash Gordon serials I watched (in re-runs, darling — I’m not THAT old) as a kid. Very well done.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Flash Gordon, there’s a name I haven’t heard in quite awhile. Never watched much of it, but what I did see was re-runs as well.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Adam, Bill mentioned last night you were back with us and I’m so glad. Excellent story, too. Welcome back and I hope you’ll be with us regularly again (unless real life interferes, of course.)
janet
July 31st, 2013 at 9:48 AM
Thanks, Janet. It’s good to be back. The plan is to stick around for awhile, but life does have a tendency toward interfering sometimes so we’ll see how things work out.
July 31st, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Good tension and descriptions-nice comeback piece.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:46 PM
Much appreciated.
July 31st, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Speak your mind could be a “one and done” experience here.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:47 PM
Probably best to keep silent in such a scenario, though I’ve never been face to face with giant bees so I could be way off base in my assumptions.
July 31st, 2013 at 12:03 PM
When I read this story I was picturing Indiana Jones. I could see him taking on a giant bee! ;D Wonderfully written.
July 31st, 2013 at 9:48 PM
I didn’t think of it that way, but you’re totally right. I could see Indy in this role… or Bruce Campbell in a what would most certainly be a classic B-movie.
July 31st, 2013 at 12:38 PM
oooh… what happens next??? Welcome back to the writing world. I hope it’s less daunting than the backyard!
July 31st, 2013 at 9:50 PM
The world may (and by may I mean probably won’t) never know what happens next. Sometimes its better that way, though sometimes its more frightening that way as well.
July 31st, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Hi Adam,
Liked the reference to Cormac in the title. Glad you came back to your writing. This could be the start of a suspenseful sci-fi tale. Ron
July 31st, 2013 at 9:51 PM
I’m glad I came back as well. I’ve been meaning to for awhile now. Life just has a way of sticking its big head in the way sometimes to make things a bit more difficult.
July 31st, 2013 at 5:57 PM
Dear Adam,
When I saw your comment on my story, on my phone, this afternoon, I was thrilled to see you back. I’m even happier to see you’re back with us.
The last thing I’d want to face as a shrunken man is a bumble bee. Love your knack for the dark side.
Shalom,
Rochelle
July 31st, 2013 at 9:52 PM
It’s good to be back. Its been far too long since I’ve written anything and it feels good to have a few words under my belt, so to speak.
August 1st, 2013 at 7:40 AM
Well done Adam. The suggestion of suspense is very well done.
August 1st, 2013 at 9:11 PM
Many thanks for the kind words.
August 1st, 2013 at 12:13 PM
Great piece, and well done getting back into the writing game. Your story made me think what use a bee might have for a human. Slave labor?
August 1st, 2013 at 9:13 PM
You bring up a very good point. I’m not quite sure what use a bee might have for a tiny human. Probably none, which doesn’t bode well for the tiny human.
August 1st, 2013 at 8:50 PM
Queens are not known for their patience. Really good story.
August 1st, 2013 at 9:15 PM
Indeed they are not. He should probably count himself lucky to even be alive.
August 2nd, 2013 at 9:25 AM
Welcome back to the hive.
August 2nd, 2013 at 8:39 PM
I see what you did there…
And thanks, good to be back!
August 2nd, 2013 at 9:26 AM
So grim, and I would really like to see if he can talk his way out Adam!
August 2nd, 2013 at 8:41 PM
Grim is what I do, usually. Occasionally I stray, but in the end it all comes back to grim.
You’re making 2 assumptions in wondering if he can talk his way out. 1 - They’ll let him speak. And 2 - They’ll understand anything he says. Both of which I doubt.
August 2nd, 2013 at 5:34 PM
Very neat piece.
Love the suspense.
August 2nd, 2013 at 8:43 PM
Thankee sai.
August 3rd, 2013 at 4:52 AM
Newish around here so didn’t know you left. Enjoyed the sci-fi. Mess with the bee-queen is simply not right.
August 3rd, 2013 at 6:01 AM
Dear Adam,
Welcome back. Let’s see the screenplay for this one. I’ll watch it.
Aloha,
Doug
August 4th, 2013 at 4:02 PM
“In her glossy black eyes he saw only his reflecton.” Love this line, and the rest of the story. 🙂