Friday is upon us again, and that can only mean one thing: a fresh batch of stories from writers all around the world. As always, my drabble was inspired by the photo prompt from Madison Woods and I thank her for offering it it.
I struggled a bit with this story. The idea was there, but the words weren’t. I just sat down and start writing random garbage before the words eventually came to me. I hope they were the correct ones.
Comments, criticism, and half drunken rants, as always, are acceptable. And what better week for a half drunken rant?
Poached
The sign said Do Not Enter!
Janet assumed it served as a subtle defense against those who would poach the succulent grapes from the vine. They looked so delicious, so tempting. They whispered her name and she heeded their call.
Half a dozen steps beyond the low fence, the vines began shifting and slithered across the ground toward her. Dumbfounded, she watched as they snaked around her ankles. They tugged her to the ground and dragged her deep into the grove.
Nearly a full day later, her throat raw from screaming for help that never came, she prayed for death.
—
View the other Fictioneers’ stories:
July 19th, 2012 at 7:52 PM
Brilliant!
July 19th, 2012 at 8:18 PM
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
July 19th, 2012 at 8:19 PM
Definitely creepy. A Brothers Grimm fairy tale not for children.
July 19th, 2012 at 8:21 PM
Fairy tales unsuitable for young minds are the best kind of fairy tales.
July 19th, 2012 at 8:23 PM
When you read the unabridged Grimm and other fairy tales, they are anything but little happy stories. As in yours, people who don’t do what they should often come to bad ends!!
July 19th, 2012 at 8:25 PM
Ah, see, I knew it would be good when you said you were struggling. I bet she was struggling too against those triffids.
This is a half drunken ramble, not rant. Is that ok?
http://mysocalleddutchlife.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/through-the-grapevine-ff-200712/
July 19th, 2012 at 8:29 PM
I’ll have to check with the judges. One moment please.
You’re in luck! They say a ramble is close enough to a rant to be acceptable.
July 19th, 2012 at 8:41 PM
I mean. I would rant, but I’m extraordinarily happy at this moment in time. I blame the bier! 🙂
July 19th, 2012 at 8:40 PM
Adam no way…how did you come up with this brilliant and scary one :). Great take on the prompt. Thanks for stopping by mine
July 20th, 2012 at 6:20 AM
The idea came into my head as soon as I saw the photo, but the right words were a bit harder to come by. It took many revisions. Glad you enjoyed it.
July 19th, 2012 at 8:41 PM
Wow, eerie and original. Makes me wonder what was in those vines…
July 20th, 2012 at 6:22 AM
Government experiment or mad scientist “guard dogs” would be my guess as to what they are. How they came in to being, I can’t answer.
July 19th, 2012 at 8:45 PM
You made them move, the vines, and my plant moved too…eeek. You did it again, nicely 🙂
July 20th, 2012 at 6:23 AM
Thanks, Raina. Always nice to produce an eeek, usually means I did something right.
July 19th, 2012 at 9:54 PM
I’ve heard that Brut wines are prone to do that, and Muscatels tho’ sweet can be ultimately very deceptive…
I liked your story. Well told.
Randy
July 20th, 2012 at 6:24 AM
I’ve always said wines are not to be trusted. Crafty little suckers, they are. Glad you liked it!
July 19th, 2012 at 10:25 PM
Ok, I will NEVER poach another persons grapes after reading this. Nope, not gonna happen.
July 20th, 2012 at 6:26 AM
Sure you will. It’ll be too tempting not to. And then they’ll poach you and you’ll ultimately regret your decision to not take my story as a true warning.
July 19th, 2012 at 10:48 PM
So cool!!! I’m glad I followed your link. I’m impressed with how well crafted it is – you are obviously careful with your words. Now…I must create a happy ending for this story in my mind or I’ll have nightmares! (Excellent.) I’m only on my second week of being a Friday Fictioneer. Glad I read yours.
July 20th, 2012 at 6:31 AM
I like to make sure I hit 100 words exactly each week. I find it helps me to be a better editor to go in with that goal in mind. It forces revisions to mold the story and requires careful word choices to get the message across.
Many of the Fictioneers are excellent writers. I hope you find as much to like about their stories as you did mine. Welcome to the group.
PS. There is no happy ending to be had here. 🙂
July 20th, 2012 at 4:01 AM
Sometimes there is a greater reason for the ‘do not enter’ sign than we might imagine and you captured that beatifully. I’ll certainly think twice before hopping over a fence again 🙂
http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/07/20/friday-fictioneers-the-grapevine/
July 20th, 2012 at 6:32 AM
Sometimes signs are for our protection, not the protection of what is beyond. Some people just never learn until it’s too late.
July 20th, 2012 at 8:04 AM
As in most of life too Adam 🙂
July 20th, 2012 at 4:22 AM
A true horror story in a beautiful setting. Great contrast!
http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/triple-exposure-friday-fictioneers-july-2012/
July 20th, 2012 at 7:01 AM
Thanks, Sandra. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
July 20th, 2012 at 5:03 AM
Awe. Some. I love evil foliage! Or just living foliage. Ok, I like foliage. Great job! http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/07/20/friday-fictioneers-13/
July 20th, 2012 at 6:33 AM
I could be misinterpreting this, but it sounds to me like you like foliage. Glad you enjoyed the story!
July 20th, 2012 at 5:29 AM
Now that I’ve stopped screaming, I’ll comment. 😉 You have a gift for the macabre, Adam. And you may take that as a compliment. While I’m not a fan of horror, you do it so well, that your flash fictions are among my favorites every week. Thanks for you kind comments on mine.
http://www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/07/bittersweet.html
July 20th, 2012 at 7:04 AM
Thanks, Rochelle. I’m glad you enjoy my stories, even if you don’t enjoy the genre. That’s probably on of the biggest compliments any writer can receive.
July 20th, 2012 at 5:38 AM
I should know better than to read your posts, shouldn’t I? Horror is never my strong point. You have kept a light touch here on the description, for which I’m grateful, but I fear my imagination will fill in the gaps!!!
July 20th, 2012 at 6:36 AM
I find the horror I enjoy most are the ones that force me to fill in the gaps. The story becomes more my vision as a reader when that is the case rather than the author’s vision being forced on me, but that may just be a personal preference kind of deal.
July 20th, 2012 at 3:57 PM
I quite agree – about writing in general actually, description tends to slow me down and take me out of the image I’ve created in my head. However, with horror, sometimes I prefer to escape that image!!!
July 20th, 2012 at 7:33 AM
Mine is similar with a little different twist, but the “throat raw from screaming” line was chilling. Don’t trespass on the vines!
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/asylum/
July 20th, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Yours contrasts nicely with mine. I enjoyed it.
July 20th, 2012 at 8:59 AM
Ooooooh. I like it. Very Stephen King. Morbid that “they” keep her alive so long…yikes!
July 23rd, 2012 at 10:33 PM
I look at it as a parasite. The longer they keep her alive, the longer they can feed off of her. Who knows, there may even be a whole field of people trapped there that no one knows about.
Sorry for the delayed response. Your comment somehow ended up in my spam box. Just noticed it there.
July 20th, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Really nice use of the various verbs. Brought the story to life.
July 20th, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Thanks, Craig. Glad you enjoyed it.
July 20th, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Oh, wow! Definitely not expecting that at all! Bet she was wishing that she had heeded that sign now. Very well done!! http://theforgottenwife.com/2012/07/19/friday-fictioneers-july-20-2012/
July 20th, 2012 at 11:38 AM
I’m certain that thought crossed her mind. I kind of feel bad for her, even if she did put herself in that situation.
July 20th, 2012 at 11:30 AM
Dear Adam,
I should love to offer a FULLY drunken rant, but it only a little past 10 am and I’m not yet inebriated. Perhaps I should return in 12 hours and try again. But alas, I am here now and thoroughly enjoyed your grim tale. I’ve heard of sour grapes and dry wine, but this vineyard quenches the thirst in a most unforgettable way. Nicely done.
http://russellgayer.blogspot.com/
July 20th, 2012 at 11:42 AM
I’m sorry. Fully drunken rants are unacceptable as per the rules set forth prior. I have to draw the line somewhere. If I bend it for you, I’d have to bend it for everyone. I’m sure you understand. I apologize for any undue hardship this may cause you.
Thanks for the read. Glad you enjoyed it.
July 20th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
Excellent read Adam. Great take and great Job 🙂
July 20th, 2012 at 6:58 PM
Thanks, Nifti. Glad you enjoyed it.
July 20th, 2012 at 2:52 PM
Did you know I actually get anxious coming to read your entries? I wonder what you will do to scare me this time. As usual, I was not disappointed. It was a good one.
Mine is here: http://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/flash-friday-fiction-12
July 20th, 2012 at 7:00 PM
I did not know that, but I take it as a huge compliment. I’m glad you liked it.
July 20th, 2012 at 6:46 PM
Why did I know that you’d write something like this? What I did not expect in this one is that you let your character live, for now. Seriously I came to your blog expecting sentient grape vine and that’s what I got. You’re so awesome with how you did this piece.
My favorite part is how Janet watched Dumbfounded. I’m getting frozen with fear and complete shock. Great job. I love reading your 100 words. Here’s my share: http://remakingme-atiyatownes.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-fictioneers-under-vines.html
July 20th, 2012 at 10:08 PM
You know me too well, I suppose. I’m glad you enjoy it, Atiya.
July 20th, 2012 at 7:42 PM
This reminds me of Dorothy being accosted by the witch’s apple trees but on a far more morbid level. Hmmm…I guess she should have followed the warning…
~Susan (www.susanwenzel.com)
July 20th, 2012 at 10:12 PM
The wizard of oz could use an entire rewrite on a far more morbid level. It would make for a very interesting story, but that’s just my opinion.
Warnings are usually posted for good reason. She should have listened to the sign instead of the call of the grapes.
July 21st, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Glad that I do heed warning signs!
July 21st, 2012 at 8:22 PM
Surely you’ve driven the wrong way down a one way street at some point in your life.
July 22nd, 2012 at 4:27 PM
oh this is yummy! this is similar to the kind of stuff i usually write. definitely clever. definitely original, and definetly visual at the end there. love it!
thanks for the comment at my place! http://frommywriteside.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/the-hunted/
July 22nd, 2012 at 5:49 PM
Thanks for the kind words. I’m glad you enjoyed my little snippet.
July 23rd, 2012 at 1:01 AM
i think she’ll get her wish.
July 23rd, 2012 at 6:12 AM
She most certainly will.
July 23rd, 2012 at 10:50 AM
That’s how vines enjoy their feast…poached.
Nicely done.
July 23rd, 2012 at 8:42 PM
Hard to beat a poached human. We better keep that knowledge away from the plants or we may become extinct before we even know what hit us.
July 24th, 2012 at 5:13 AM
Chilling!
Grapes were never more sour! 🙂
July 24th, 2012 at 6:12 AM
Sour indeed. Makes me happy I’m not a grape eater. Perhaps they’ll show me some mercy.