Story inspired by Madison’s prompt photo:
He backed the pickup toward the trees. Preparations had been made, but still his nerves were shot. He’d dug the hole, twenty yards in, to the perfect depth, as instructed. The body in the bed of the truck was cold, stiff, and partially decomposed. He dragged her into the forest, the moon lit the way. With a sigh, he pushed her in. He pulled the hex bag from his pocket and dropped it in with the girl. Shovel in hand, he went to work. Assuming the man who sold him the bag was legit, he’d have his daughter back by morning.
March 30th, 2012 at 6:00 AM
Oh no! I read Pet Semetary by Stephen King and it gave me nightmares forever, lol, and now you’ve gone and done it again. Great story…but EEEWWW!
March 30th, 2012 at 6:19 AM
Thanks! That’s the response I strive for! If I can make the reader want to sleep with the light on or second guess going into the basement by themself, I’ve done my job properly. My wife won’t even read my stories anymore. She scares easily. She made it through about 20 words of my 100 word story in the 100 Horrors Anthology before she couldn’t take anymore and quit.
March 30th, 2012 at 8:09 AM
In that case, is this a reference piece? Because I didn’t entirely get it.
Sorry.
https://littlewonder2.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/friday-fictioneers-abandoned/
March 30th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
Nothing to be sorry for. It happens. Not everybody likes everything. I’ve come to terms with that fact.
This is not a reference piece, I may extend it into a longer story in the future, but for now it stands on its own, for better or worse.
March 30th, 2012 at 8:29 AM
I should really stop apologising so needlessly. Even as I wrote that, I wasn’t sure about it. I wonder what’s been driving me to apologise so much?
Never mind.
March 30th, 2012 at 6:37 AM
Nice twist here. I thought it was a straightforward disposal job, but it turned out to be quite sad really. Well done, you had me guessing.
Mine’s at https://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/i-met-this-guy-friday-fictioneers-30-march-2012/
March 30th, 2012 at 7:31 AM
Thanks for the kind words. It’s not easy to add a twist when you’ve only got 100(ish) words to work with, but I’m happy with the result.
March 30th, 2012 at 6:38 AM
Oh gosh!! Madison’s comment about Pet Cemetary pretty much mirrors my own. Stuff like this creeps me out. Great short though. It makes me wonder what happened to his daughter and why he let her sit around and rot. Yuck. Just… Creepy. Great work on this.
My attempt: https://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/03/28/state-pride/
March 30th, 2012 at 7:29 AM
If you’re creeped out, then I must have done something right. 🙂 The reason I had in mind for him letting her sit and rot was actually two fold. #1: Bodies tend to start decomposing pretty quickly. #2: Have you ever tried finding someone to sell you a hex bag to raise the dead? it isn’t easy and takes a bit of time. I’ll leave the what happened to her question and what happens if/when she comes back a mystery for now.
March 30th, 2012 at 6:53 AM
This was great! I love the “zombie,” “magic” element to it when we were expecting a murderer. Fantastic job.
https://quillshiv.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/for-a-moment-sam/
March 30th, 2012 at 7:34 AM
Thanks! It’s always nice to hear people like your work, as I’m sure you know. I didn’t even realize I was going to add the hex bag into the mix until after I already had her in the hole. I love when random inspiration comes from nowhere.
March 30th, 2012 at 7:33 AM
Dear Adam,
That was a morbid take on a difficult prompt. Well conceived and executed and a stark look into the life and mind of your protagonist. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
https://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/pure-coincidence/
March 30th, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Thanks, Doug. Glad you liked it. It was a first for the Friday Fictioneers for me.
March 30th, 2012 at 9:08 AM
It’s like Pet Sematery but with witches instead. Wonderful take on it!
Here’s mine:
https://sarahthestoryteller.wordpress.com
March 30th, 2012 at 8:05 PM
To be honest, Pet Sematary never even crossed my mind while writing it, but now that you mention it I can definitely see the similarity.
March 30th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Deliciously macabre-I’ll have to admit that I, like your wife, would probably NOT make it through an entire book as I already sleep with dim lighting. For 100 word, though, -it was spine-tingling!! Great job!
Mine: https://www.vlgregory-circa1800.vpweb.com/blog.html
March 30th, 2012 at 8:07 PM
Its kind of hard not being able to bounce my darker story ideas off of my wife since she scares so easily. She’s the person whose opinion I value most, but she can’t even read most of my writing. lol
March 30th, 2012 at 4:11 PM
We all of the propensity to do evil. Sacrificing a life to save another. It also shows how deep this father’s love for his daughter goes. Nice twist in the story.
Here is my link:
https://366degree.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/forget-him-not/
Cheers!
March 30th, 2012 at 8:08 PM
Actually, the body he put in the hole was his daughter. He was trying to use black magic to bring her back to life.
March 30th, 2012 at 8:03 PM
Holy Cow! That took me by surprise. Good one!
https://tedstrutz.com/2012/03/30/flash-fridayfictioneers-lost-opportunity/
March 30th, 2012 at 8:10 PM
Thanks! Looks like my first Friday Fictioneers attempt was pretty successful.
March 30th, 2012 at 9:35 PM
Very…
March 30th, 2012 at 8:54 PM
OMG! Pet Semetary! You had me thinking murder up until the last line. NIce job!!
Here’s less-than-spooky one: https://ajaroffireflies.blogspot.com/2012/03/friday-fictioneers.html
March 31st, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Glad you liked it 🙂
Nothing wrong with less-than-spooky. I just have the horror bug in my blood (nasty little creature, it is) so I usually lean in that direction when I write.
March 30th, 2012 at 8:56 PM
Great story! I liked the little twist at the end.
March 31st, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Glad you liked it and thanks for commenting!
March 30th, 2012 at 9:12 PM
Funny, I thought he was burying a pet too! But even moreso the title… makes you wonder what happened.
March 31st, 2012 at 10:26 AM
I could tell you a bit about what happened, and some day I just might. Though, it would take a great deal more than 100 words.
March 30th, 2012 at 10:07 PM
That was FREAKY! Good, though. And it may stay with me tonight. Thanks a lot.
Mine’s at https://shirleymccann.blogspot.com/2012/03/fitting-end.html
March 31st, 2012 at 10:27 AM
Glad you liked it!
How did you sleep? Any dreams of girls rising from the dead?
March 31st, 2012 at 12:59 AM
Oy! Not a happy story, but makes me want to read more!
Mine is here: https://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/flash-fiction-friday/
March 31st, 2012 at 10:33 AM
Glad it made you want more! If you have a kindle or kindle app (they have them for just about any pc or mobile device), my short story collection Fright Night will be free on Amazon tomorrow (April 1st) if you’d like to read some more of my writing. If you do happen to pick it up, I’d love to know what you think of it. You can find it at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007O3IK9E/
March 31st, 2012 at 6:16 AM
A body for a body, I love it! I hope the hex bag works because I want to learn what condition his daughter is in when she returns. I did a vaguely similar 100-word flash piece the other day for a different prompt and if you’re interested, it’s here: https://michaelsfishbowl.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/the-return/
March 31st, 2012 at 10:38 AM
Some day, you may find out if it worked. The story has been building in my head ever since I wrote this piece. Thoughts of it are even pulling me away from my current WIP, making it hard to concentrate, but I’m not ready to write it yet. I like to let things brew and fester for awhile until they demand to be released.
I can definitely see a vague similarity between the two stories. Yours makes me wonder what will be wrong with the grandmother given the strict warning to never open the box.
March 31st, 2012 at 6:16 AM
Welcome to the gang! This is a huge start here and I would look forward to more strings of surprises from you…Nicely done!
https://seewilliams.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/iron-wall/
March 31st, 2012 at 10:42 AM
Thanks! I appreciate the kind words and the warm welcome. All of these comments are a bit overwhelming, but I like to try my best to reply to them all. My short story collection Fright Night will be available for free on Amazon tomorrow (April 1st) if you’re interested in reading some more of my work and have a Kindle (or a free Kindle app). https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007O3IK9E/ If you pick it up, I’d love to know your thoughts on it.
March 31st, 2012 at 5:42 PM
Wow! You weren’t kidding - you give elmo (https://elmowrites.wordpress.com/) a run for her money on the darkness factor (but very well written 🙂 ).
March 31st, 2012 at 6:01 PM
Thanks! Like I said, dark is what I do. I feel at home there for some reason. I’m not sure whether that should scare me that I have all these stories of wicked things floating around in my head or reassure me that I’ve found a place I feel comfortable. Maybe a bit of both.
March 31st, 2012 at 10:10 PM
Super creepy. I LOVE it!! You set the scene really well.
March 31st, 2012 at 10:45 PM
Thanks! Your story was great. I may not write very much that could be considered funny, but I do appreciate most things humorous, and you story fit the bill. I always love an unexpected laugh, so thanks for that.
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