I couldn’t help myself. Making up dialogue between these two is just too much fun. So here are two more exchanges I came up with. Both are exactly 100 words.
Health Inspector
“Hey, Carl?”
“Yeah, Jimmy?”
“Why do you suppose they scratched out the name like that?”
“Embarassment, most likely.”
“Embarassment? Of what?”
“Have you taken a look around lately? This place is a dump. Someone should put a call in to the health inspector.”
“Can I do it? Please, please, please! Can I?”
“Sure thing, Jimmy. If you can figure out how to dial a phone, you go ahead and knock yourself out.”
“Got any change for the phone?”
“Where would I keep coins at, Jimmy? In my pocket? Oh, look at that. I forgot to put my pants on today!”
Shamrock Shake, Please
“Hey, Jimmy, order me a shamrock shake, will ya?”
“They don’t have those anymore. Besides, those things glow in the dark. Mega unhealthy.”
“What? When did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought you knew.”
“How would I know if you didn’t tell me?”
“We come here every day, Carl.”
“And?”
“You should know they only sell those around St. Patrick’s day.”
“Well, damn. I kind of had my heart set on a Shamrock Shake.”
“What do you want instead? How about an angus with bacon?”
“Can’t you see I’m too upset to eat? Did you say bacon?”
May 25th, 2012 at 1:04 PM
I enjoyed them both, but thought the first one was extremely funny.
Great read.
https://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/checkin-out-the-joint-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/
May 25th, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Thanks for stopping by! Glad you enjoyed my comedic offerings. Those are a rare occurrence around these parts.
May 25th, 2012 at 1:05 PM
Great use of dialogue to tell a story, on both accounts. I especially like the no pants reference in the first one. Very funny.
Here’s mine:https://teschoenborn.com/2012/05/25/friday-fictioneer-perspective/
May 25th, 2012 at 5:47 PM
I have to agree. I believe the no pants reference to be the greatest line I’ve ever written. I should probably stop writing while I’m ahead. It can only go downhill from here!
May 25th, 2012 at 1:09 PM
Both are a lot of fun. I was worried the shamrock shake would end up being made of green moths. 🙂
Mine is here: https://erinleary.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/flight-path/
May 25th, 2012 at 5:48 PM
Hmmm.. that’s a good idea, but I was in more of a comedy mood today so I went that direction instead of horror. These guys just felt more like a comedy duo to me.
May 25th, 2012 at 2:37 PM
Ahaha. My dog stared at me when I started laughing. LOL.
May 25th, 2012 at 5:48 PM
That’s too funny! Your dog thinks you’re a weirdo. Go me!
May 25th, 2012 at 5:06 PM
I find the first really interesting!
May 25th, 2012 at 5:49 PM
Thanks, Charles. How have you been? Haven’t seen you around for awhile.
May 25th, 2012 at 6:39 PM
I am Good…should be on for next party!
May 26th, 2012 at 2:51 PM
Mmmmmmm, bacon.
Nice.
And those Shamrock Shakes are delicious.
Here’s mine: https://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/flash-fiction-friday-almost/
June 3rd, 2012 at 9:18 AM
So weird, I had this dream last night that butterflies went on the warpath, then I thought, this sounds likes something Adam would have written, so I came to check, realized I’d missed your moth entry last week but OMG, I was right! You could have written that dream!
So, so weird. And so funny. Love the trilogy!
June 3rd, 2012 at 10:42 AM
haha that’s too funny! Sounds like a wonderfully fun dream!
June 3rd, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Best part, when the scientist who escaped with us said the butterflies were designed to be aggressive towards the color yellow. Of course everyone was wearing yellow and we were on a school bus!
June 4th, 2012 at 7:13 AM
Aggressive toward the color yellow, you say? I guess it’s a good thing I don’t own any yellow clothing! I should be fine when they decide to make their move. I’ll be free to just sit back and watch the chaos unfold.